God’s Time, Not Mine

Bill Wilson was a list-maker. The Big Book is littered throughout with lists of positive and negative attributes, assets we can aspire to, liabilities we must overcome. I’m grateful for the lists because they’re great checklists for my spot check inventories; but I’m also grateful to see Bill was probably afflicted with just as much selfishness, need to control, and self-centeredness as I am!

Until a few years ago, I was a terrible list-maker! I used to place a high priority on having “my own space”, or “free time for me”; so I’d make lists of the things I felt I needed to accomplish, but always with the idea that if I finished my list I would have time to spend as I wished (frequently meaning I wanted to isolate myself from others).

I even made lists of all the things I intended to do with “my time”. ¬†Virtuous as some might have been, I rarely did them.

But then I realized it’s not my time at all. None of it is my time. It’s God’s time, loaned to me for today. The best thing I can do is use this borrowed time for the benefit of others, being of service to God and to my fellows.

I’m not entitled to any of this ethereal “free time” that I hear others talk about so passionately in the world of psychobabble and self-help, let alone time that I think I can use to my own selfish benefit! God knows when I need time or space to be alone with Him or gather my thoughts, time for rest or contemplation, and He always makes it happen.

When man abides, God provides.